21 Lessons To Host Awesome Outdoor Parties At Home. Guaranteed.

How to avoid mistakes during planning, preparing and hosting that will ruin your fun.

My dear wife and I hosted a party for about 50 friends in our yard last month. Our guests had a great time; equally importantly, we did, too!

I wrote this recap where I look back through the process of distilling:

• Everything that happened

• Everything we learned (about great parties)

In the past, I would tuck these away on a Google Sheet, only to never look at them again. Instead, I now like to share publicly and write about them to stamp them into my brain.

Hopefully, by doing so, you can learn from them (while avoiding the mistakes I made in the past that allowed me to know them).

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Planning

1. Manage your invitations centrally. We paid a small amount for Paperless Post, but Evite can do this for free. Life is much easier without remembering and tracking responses across families and invitation methods.

2. RSVPs are helpful for planning but are limited by human psychology. Most slow RSVPers will not come, so assume they won’t and don't spend much time and energy on nudging.

3. Be precise with your invitation language. We didn’t target our party at kids, but we were okay with folks bringing them, so we said it directly in the invitation. The invitation still generated a few questions/clarifications but generally set expectations well.

4. Underpromise and overdeliver. We promised ‘tacos and live music.’ This was enough to show we were serious about a party without putting too much pressure on ourselves. When we catered fresh, hand-made tacos and found a killer singer/guitarist to perform, it made a significant impact. If one or the other had fallen through, we still had space to deliver well on the invitation.

5. Ask your friends for help. As a family of four, we did not have enough furniture and facilities to host 50. Friends were generous and happy to help with tailgating supplies, coolers, camping chairs, and lawn games, which saved us from renting furniture.

Preparation

1. Allow yourself the full day to prepare. We considered squeezing in other activities with the kids during the afternoon before the party but didn’t. This allowed us lots of time and relieved a lot of pressure on the prep.

2. Create different spaces to accommodate various types of interaction. Some guests prefer a big group, while others prefer something smaller and intimate. Guests will also organically create their own spaces.

3. Make super clear bathroom signs. It stops so many interruptions and saves guests from feeling like they need to ask permission to go.

4. Label alcohol and non-alcohol coolers. There’s a hard version of everything these days, so it’s essential to keep drinks separate and clearly marked to avoid confusion. Especially with kids around.

5. Don’t make work for yourself during the party. Lay everything out in advance. Accept that things are out of your hands once the guests arrive so you can enjoy rather than fuss.

6. Doordash is your friend in a pinch. Our ice melted too hard in the afternoon, so we needed more and dashed some in from 7-Eleven. Delivery is also an option if food or drink runs out. Embrace the contingency plan, pull the lever, and take the cost hit if necessary. It’s not worth sacrificing your experience to fix it yourself.

Hosting

1. People don’t arrive on time for parties. Prepare for an awkward 10 minutes where it feels like nobody is coming. Trust that they will show.

2. You can't talk at length to everyone. Even if you allocate perfectly, 2.5 hours of party / 50 guests = 3 minutes per guest. Take time to enjoy your conversations, but be sure to connect guests with shared interests, too.

3. Catering was a godsend. Even cooking for ten people is stressful. Fifty would have been a nightmare and prevented us from enjoying the party. If you can’t spring for catering, choose something you can do entirely in advance.

4. Keep your eyes open for entries and exits. Guests will typically want to acknowledge hosts when they arrive and leave. Be aware of this so they don’t get stuck waiting for you to notice them.

5. Enjoy yourself! You are at the party too! The hosts of any event are highly influential in setting the tone. If you’re smiling, laughing, and having a great time, your guests will too. If you’re rushing around stressing, the vibe will go downhill fast.

Reflection

1. Do most (but not all) of the tidying on the night. Break down any significant pieces, clear perishables away, and get a big chunk of the cleaning done before heading to bed so you don’t wake up to a scene of carnage. Allow yourself some grace to get the house spotless the next day.

2. Group size impacts group dynamics. For a gathering of this 50, guests form into familiarity groups and mix far less organically than a group of 12 or less. Let it stay organic. Don’t try to force anything unnatural. If you want more of a ‘mixer’ vibe, invite fewer people.

3. Remind yourself to take photos. We did such a good job of enjoying ourselves that we took no pictures. These would have been great for memories and to share with guests afterward—a sad omission.

4. Draw on your partner’s strengths to create a shared success. Our party would have been less successful without my ambition for scale and my partner’s attention to detail—killer combo.

5. Congratulate yourselves! A project like this isn’t a minor undertaking. If you pulled it off, take some time for a high five and enjoy the successful evening you created.

And that’s it. We had a great time putting our party on and committed ourselves to doing another one next year. In addition to the fun of the project and then the party, it was a great incentive to spring-clean our house and reminded us to appreciate all the work that goes into making a great party the next time we are guests at one.

What’s your favorite party-planning hack that I missed? Let me know; I’d love to hear it for my next party!